How do I focus on the rest of my life?

All I can think about is the baby! How can I work? How can I be a good friend? Wife? Co-worker?

I can only focus on one thing. I can't read or watch tv. I can't sleep.

It's going to be a long 9 months if this is how my mind is going to be.

I LOVE MY BABY!!!!

That is all I can think about right now!

807!! 80 effing 7!!!

14 dpo-316
16 dpo-807!

I'm in beta heaven!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
First u/s on March 1st! Wish me luck!!

UGHH!!!

Waiting and more waiting! Its all I seem to be doing. Waiting for my next appointment, waiting for my tests results, waiting, waiting, waiting!

Right now I am waiting for the doctor to call me with my second round of betas.

Ugh!!

Ok. I am going to try to be patient. It's so hard!

Yesterday was such a great day! I called my RE's office and they had me go to hospital for a blood test. My beta was 316 at 14 DPO!!!!!!!!! Compared to my other 2 pregnancies...this is awesome! I had betas done for 2 of my other babies and I believe the first one in July was really low. It was at 24 at 14 DPO and the nurse was not too thrilled about those numbers and even though it did double over the next 48 hours, I never made it over 2 hundred something. My my august baby beta was 125 at 17 dpo.

So I am thrilled with these numbers! Maybe Multiples? I will love and be happy for whatever god has blessed us with!

Oh yea, my estrogen levels were over eight hundred and my progesterone was at 52! The nurse seemed excited so I will assume these are good numbers! Yay!!

Year of the Tiger!

Well, this is it. Happy Chinese New Year. I read my chinese horoscope and it's supposed to be a lucky year for me....Well...it's starting out with a good note. I took a test this morning and it's positive! I'm trying not to get too excited, but I'm sure it's inevitable. The line is faint.

I need to go pray now.

It's been a loooong winter...

Wow. It's been a while since I last posted. I'm sorry. I had to get a way from the internet for a while. I went through a very dark period and I hope that I won't ever have to experience anything like it again. Basically I had another miscarriage and my ob dumped me stating that he doesn't know what's wrong with me and he doesn't think he can help me anymore!
Seriously! No shit something is wrong, usually people go to their doctors for help. WHATEVER. I'm done with that dude.

Last March when we decided to start trying for a baby I made an appointment with a reproductive endocrinologist because my cycles we're so effed up and I wasn't having periods on a regular basis. Well, the earliest they could get me in was December. NINE freaking months later. Of course I couldn't wait that long, so I went to see my regular ob who does my annual checkups. Well they were able to get me pregnant 2 more times, but we see how well those pregnancies did. THANK GOD I never cancelled my appointment with the RE.

Since my first appointment in December I have been diagnosed with PCOS, but every other test has come back normal or good. I had a sonohystogram and my hubs has his sperm checked and his sperm is freaking awesome. They drew 15 vials of blood and did every blood test under the sun. The nurse made a big deal about it too when she was drawing the blood. "Om my! I have never seen so many vials for one patient before, they never run these many tests...blah blah blah!" It's like shut up! I already feel like a freak for having to see a specialist, dont make me feel like the biggest freak in the clinic! I know she meant well, but since it's a fertilty clinic I would rather feel like a regular run of the mill client, who they can fix up and send on her way without even batting an eye. Ya know?

Well, my RE puts me on Menopur and THANK GOD for my insurance, because that shit is FUCKING expensive!!!!!!! I am really blessed to have good insurance and I am very thankful for it with the 50 million doctor's appointments that I have had.

So after having to have my husband give me shots in the butt for 11 days, I started to ovulate on my own. But they had me take the HCG shot (Pregnyl) anyway, I am guessing to just to get me to spend more money because, I was ALREADY OVULATING!!! Whatever.

(I'm sorry guys! I have been in a really bitchy mood lately.) (I guess I am just pissed at the world.)

After I took the shot I went in with my hubs for an IUI. I guess this is to raise your chance of getting pregnant. That was on the 31st of January. Well, normally if I was pregnant I would notice symptoms by now. UNFORTUNATELY, I have to take 2 suppositories of prometruim, which I have been taking since 3DPO and it mimics the symptoms of pregnancy. Bigger boobs, with sore nipples, mood swings, etc.

So right now, I am just hoping and praying to god that this is it for me. That I am pregnant, and that I will get to stay pregnant.

We are supposed to test on Valentine's day. Wish me luck. Because I need it.