05 June 2009

Speak

I decided to write this blog because I feel like I need to speak. I need to admit to myself that I'm tired. That I'm tired of pretending. I pretend all the time. I pretend that I not scared of being overweight the rest of my life. I pretend that I'm over my miscarriage that I had exactly 7 months and 18 days ago. I'm also tired of the lying to myself. Believing that it's okay to be diagnosed with high cholesterol. At least I'm young, I've told myself. People don't have heart attacks when they are 27.

I'm writing this because I know I need to change. I'm writing this to help change my way of thinking and to hold myself accountable. I'm writing this to help me deal with my past and to help me cherish my present. I'm writing this to help prepare myself for my future, whatever it may hold.

Reading my brother's blog inspired me to begin this journey online. Also, all of my friend's on the TTCAL board on thebump.com. They let me see how much support you can get from an online community.

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